Ft weekend crypto watch july 17th

Crypto people we love you. We want to send y'all stuff in the mail to bring you joy.    If believers in the northern hemisphere, we hope y'all are mimeing photosynthesis and loving it!!   God bless each and every one of us for keeping the faith that mankind can do better than the degradations of fiat printing paras- erm, elites. And thank whatever gods may be for the secular existence of the towering Publish0x!  Whip out the keyboards and beat out a prayer to the crowdsourced hive mind natural intelligence of the future!!  It's coming if we look!! 

Except now we remember once posting a red dress, cash and a lovely straight edge.  Few could argue: if unloved, cut up & throw away! Maybe no mail drops, now it would be called terrorism and a barber's cut-throat. ROFL and worse yet now, lol!  Nah, we take that back, cash, it's ok....

Today's weekend FT brings an unprecedented  two Thank You's for an FT article!  We ARE changing the crypto coverage, it WILL work, the FT REALLY IS THAT INTO ALL OF US!!! YAAYYY!!

Not SO much, though we are on the twelfth  day of the Nexo Vauld blackout and the Vauld 40% interest lie, and the third day of the Terra lost 40 billion lie.  We know, let it go man...there won't be even another halfass retraction, yer breaking mah heart FT, in with the good air!  Let's roll, cipher happy people! 

Woof, it's a blackpill mess. Inflation driven strikes.  It's a war crime to loan money to move oil. "Risk to life" heatwaves and wildfires.  Arms dealers whipping black market heavy weapons out of the Ukraine.  China reaches around 0% official GDP growth after covid lockdowns. 

Not in this story, but China banned crypto, so eat that 0% GDP growth, y'all coulda stayed kings.  What's funny is most say China still cranks 20%+ of hashrate.  Stats had hitting hashes way above weight class (YESS! but wtf?  power costs too high) but it was just China routing through friendly ISPs. ROFL!! 

Italians protesting  for anti-competition.  Mario, never elected, offers to quit. The EU was supposed to give 200 billion euros for reforms but no.  Only tangental to the story, should be a central truth:  Italy's inflation is at a 23 year high.  Officially

Skip the black pill and get to the orange pill folks!! We demur from this letter- summer British linen suits and sandals are great on the subway, just don't sit down, and switch to carpet slippers at work.  "Vibe" is a meme on the rise!! 

Tech story: the US will swipe $52 billion from AI to give to chipmakers, enriching Nancy who just bought $5MM of Nvidia stock.   The mind whirls.  Or,  cut the red tape that killed all hopes of Texas Instruments' new plants??? A boggle, are options like that OK? ?  NYT says Ukraine $$ at 54 billion.  Keep AI,  help TI, enrich Nvidia and Nancy and the Slavic teenage proxy war to the last man?  Oh wait, we can see the arms dealers lobbyists are WAY more hooked up than the AI lobbyists, never mind...

Sorry Orange pill not black, chant it $(&#@!$(*OK here:  Katie Long View, who ya gotta love, says steady growth is dead, time for crazy pendulum swings, analysts look foolish,  "wild scenes for debt markets."  Katie sez has faults, NFTs are super ugly & often apes CVO's, Chief Vibe Officers are the way forward.   Stay upbeat while Twitter NFTs crash 99% and NFT exchange volumes down 70%.  Really, build and trade on vibes, like memestonks or something, at least have fun when getting reckt. 

 Katie name checks all the equity analysts  screaming in pain  "hellish sea of red ink, ouch, ugh, peak anxiety," & her fave, "pain everywhere."  Katie then sez  NO director of vibes title for you!  BAD vibe management!   LOL love it.   

Fun stat for cryptos in a world of hurt - doesn't really show on a graph, but more than half of NASDAQ stocks are down 50% or more from 12 month rolling highs ( ove the precise statement!!) 

We think it's funny Jack's first tweet nosedived eight figures, who gives a fig that's not even art. True art shall be convulsive or not at all!  Beeple rules OK but we don't get PAK's The Merge,  and cryptopunks, sadly, are lame AFGuardian article, link below, found only two really investor relations / marcomms  influencers at Deeze and Fractional.  We have to print the pic of NFT.NYC on good old Time's Square, our old Brit office right by the Hard Rock.  Reuters stage left, we remember the  Reuters high end budget market data Xmas party with a  Jean-Luc Ponti  ( lol Houston crowds chanting "Go Frenchy" for real NYE Jean Luc) on the top floor one year, other years lower floors.  The dot in the center is where the NYE mirror ball drops.   We once watched practice drops from an office behind it whilst we ALMOST closed a deal with Superderivatives.  Until  they pulled the nudge/big ask nibble & tried to  contractually include stealing  a f-ckton of market data a third party had trusted us with. Ahh, memories. 

The Guardian article says WAGMI has replaced "to the moonWeb3 is crashingNFTs need a steady stream of new suckers,  so anyone who buys in big time  should be cheered, hugged and ass slapped (really.)  We dunno, but Bored Ape hodlers got a free concertLil Baby Drip Too Hard, Pure Cocaine, yes) & Timbaland (HELL to the yes!!!)   Timbaland gets around  Hold the ass slaps, but been a long time, shouldn't a left ya, left ya without a deaf beat to step to step two it all suddenly sounds like a great idea!! 

On to FT Money magazine!  

2021 tax losses were up 30%2022 should be more!! Don't forget your crypto losses!  Maybe even crypto "negligible value" 100% write off claims, ha ha !Little little britain humour there. At least this article mentions no crypto wash sales. 

Next up,the cover story!!  extra hate for the guy with a tie wrecking the rocket: 

Neil started investing in crypto after he heard about the Silk Road and noticed BTC did not after the bust - we think we've heard this one before, but OK, go on.  Neil is normal, no tinfoil hat,  but now he and many large & small are hurting, those leveraged are wiped out, trapped and wondering. Rehash, numbers go down, BTC was supposed to be indy rock n roll but "just can't fight the Fed."  The FT has to say Terra,  at least they skipped the 40 billion lie this time but they just WON"T say ALGO stablecoin.  They do have to say credit crisis, but at least skip Lehman.  

One in five Brits now hold crypto, mostly wealthier males, and half came in in 2021.  Don't be the greater fool.  Neil is fine he only went 10% in, tho he did 100$ on Doge on a tip from his car washer, oh ha ha ha.  Neil thinks Musk is an absolute clown other than rockets & "

Neil CAN'T get out cause he's locked into staking ETH & waiting for the switch to PoS, to save electricity.  He's a "fun investment" guy. 

Lyle, real name probably Kyle, is 27 getting a PhD while interning at a hedge fund, he went 60% in.  Now he wishes he paid his student loan instead, and for a rebound. Half of young brits did loans & student loans to go long.  Sylvia, a hedgie, rode the wave of the plandemic,  sold most high for other reasons & is OK, happy she never levered up.   

Many who were leveraged have gone bust and still have big loans.  Sylvia notes that a junior analyst working for her made more money in the market than at his job, which changed him.  some are out for good, others see a test of faith for rich rewards.  Only invest what you can lose

The REAL story: for a minute there it looked like FT crypto bash bingo gameplay!!Silk road pure criminality!  CHECK!  Greater fool reference CHECK tinfoil hat CHECK Meltdown, wiped out CHECK! Not an inflation hedge!! Bloodbath!  stable (not algo)coin 3x CHECK!! Dogecoin classist joke CHECK!  "I'm smarter than the worlds richest man, he's a clown " CHECK!!  Bitcoin is destroying the world CHECK!!  Leverage kills the young poor CHECK easy crypto money destroys lives CHECK!!Dang, we had "it could go to zero you know" on our card, can we count "will lose ALL your investment?"  In which case, BINGO!!!!    (%*#&(#&!%(*!!!!!!

Dear readers will remember Sammy Fried pleading to the CFTC that auto hedging, where positions are partially liquidated as markets move, would make a lot more effing sense than the odiferous smoking crater of the LME UNDOING  nickel TRADES to favor cronies, now in lawsuits.  Anyone in a CEX with that feature was NOT liquidated with a large loan left outstanding, they were just liquidated & left with a loan, lol.  But still, on behalf of Sammy & the future, one FU for no mentioning, dog not allowed to bark. 

The FT prints a depressing chart of BTC vs the FTSE Scr-w the boring FTSE and the FT special chart chitty crop job!!

The dog arsed FTSE 100 brushed 7000 back in 1999, it's at what 7150 today, WHATS THAT, 2%!?!?!? MASSIVE FAIL, a whimpering loss to inflation & taxes.  STFU about the FTSE.  Away with it. 

don't expect the FT to show ten years of bitcoin vs anything, but professional honesty requires a  NASDAQ versus BTC, much more relevant, off to good old BigCharts.  WTF is the FT's time scale, is that two years?? weird, OK  we have it: Now that's a whole effing different story, ya?    Anyway, Judges scoring a to say ALGO stablecoin,half FU  for all the bingo card entries into the FT's crypto bashing drinking deadpool, a quarter FU for ignoring modern FTX / NEXO style partial liquidations,price chart FT neggy crop and for dragging the dead meat of the FTSE into ANY discussion without going back ten years.  Admit it should be NASDAQ, we wanna retraction Josh!! lol.  That's two and three quarters  meaty, beaty, big n bouncy FU's out of FIVEfor this nothing burger.  Half a shame!!!

But wait we promised happy happy joy joy!! And here she is, coming round the mountain, riding six white horses when she comes, baby!! 

Alan Howard of the eponymous and freakin massive, 20 year old, Euro / Cayman macro hedge fund  Brevan Howard is tossing it all in to go crypto. Alan refused an FT interview.  Alan is famous for not saying chit even if he has a mouthful of altcoins. 

Very like frenemy Digital Asset Group in Connecticut.  As dear readers will remember, very unlike frenemy Mikey Novogratz at Galaxy.   Alan started going crypto in Alan  gave up his CEO gig, tho kept control.  In he redeemed his personal extra eponymous AH fund, which made a killing in Italian bond shocks in 2018.  Now Alan is hands onBrevan Howards's Digital Assets Fund. 

Alan did give up a rare interview to The Block Crypo this year.  Alan and people talking about him say  crypto is a huge macro, and go big  across the "entire crypto ecosystem." Alan unlike many of his peers believes VC investors must take coins not just equity, cuz that's how early crypto IPOs work. 

diversified within diverse classes, e.g. he is in  (at least) three exchanges, three custodians, several crypto asset funds.  He runs , a trading software firm with crypto chops, plus an incubator for startups, plus a crypto back office spinoff from Brevan. 

Sadly, Monero's Fluffypony is in jail for an unrelated fake invoice 100K theft from a cookie company ( he tried to run, fluffy, run but no, lol, extradition time at the hacienda.). , on the other hand, went in on the fundraising for Iron Fish, MFers... IRON FISH!!   ---yessss IRON FISH!!! Not in the FT article, but dear readers know:  The validator can't see chit but can still validate!!    Zero knowledge proof, total encryption, zk-snarks, a big bundle of hardcore FU privacy goodness!!!!   The logo always looks like IRON FISH to us, maybe IRON FISH, but hey.    Founded by Elena, Forbes 30 under 30 ya gotta love her!!  YEEEEEE HAW baby, you GO Girl!!!  Forget Fluffypony!  Elena Elena Elena!!  WE LUFF U!!!  Elena is in the news thinking it is NOT cool for Ring to give YOUR doorbell camera to cops without asking you, bless her born a rebel freedom loving bones!! 

erm, back to the FT.

Yes  Alan Howard gets around.  Bless the FT's graphic guys, FT researchwhere ever ya are,  we take back earlier whinging, we now understand y'all just needed a PRO CRYPTO article to be inspired to flex your buns and crank out this masterstroke of meaningful color in graph porn:yesss baby YES!!  Get UP for that down stroke EVERYBODY GET UP!!!  

Alan is mostly HODLing all, but did sell Bottlepay to NYDIG, and Omniex to the Wrinkledvosses.  He sold a bit of and Barclays, but ya know that just means GS and Barclays are buying & using the CHIT outta Elwood's softwares and wanted some protection for all that money. 

The FT closes that Alan is an art collector and holds monthly digital art salons in London, what a stud monkey.  Alan's got the "best and the brightest , and he's gonna come out with maybe only Mikey's Galaxy Digital as a challenger.  Go team ALAN!

- holy chit, hold our hand, be still our heart!  The FT actually published a crypto article without a single snide dig at Crypto!! The closest they came was investing in crypto "despite wild ups and downs" which is, choke, gasp sputter -  FAIR!!! 

Oh, OK, we know Alan has got unquestionable old school chops making him a trading BSD of the first water for all time, so yeah the FT would naturally show big respect, but still.  An insightful, well researched (hey THEY listened to the interview) groovy, non insulting graphic, glamour shot of Alan, best and the brightest reference CHECK ecosystem, diversified, Goldman, DeFi, Check Check check NFTs freaking Iron Fish !!! BINGO!!!!!! we have a winner, an unprecedented  0 FUs, instead Three Thank Yous for Josh Larry & FT research.

Well THAT"s a big salmon coloured maildrop package of love flying around the world, FT.com.   And we feel it, and are thankful. 

Peace, love and remembering to give gifts the loved one wants, NOT gifts ya wanna give the loved one,