FT crypto watch Oct 3

Crypto coin people, we love you.  Thanks for just being you!! That, plus we are all raising an army to storm the bastille of fiat dominance.  Liberty, brotherhood, something something.  Love, peace and prosperity, LET"S GO!!! 

Today in the FT!!  Free the news we want to say, cuz the FT's blackout of the Nexo Vauld potential merger got an extension !! Still possible!! then again, Nexo just got hit with an eight state lawsuit.    Morally, we are 100% on the side of - the types of tools they are being stopped from providing in some states are EXACTLY the types of tools rich monkeys always have at their disposal.   It's just not ok when the little people do it. 

Prediction suit is ticky tack BS, or else the FT would be all into reporting it if it was a big negative for Nexo.

Meanwhile, from reading the Nexo Dispatch, among others, we now realize that our months of scouring the FT for crypto missed a big story - cuz the FT wouldn't let that dog bark.  Rishi was all into crypto, then he left Liz and her team to carry the flag for crypto London, which they HAVE STATED!!!  Never a peep in the FT about the admin's desire to embrace crypto to save the City in post Brexit.  Dear readers know, QUITE the opposite, the FCA and the FT gloating over imagined slights to Binance, lapdog echo chambering the hate for Revolut and FTX.  

Reckon it is just like the UK treasury and fed fighting each other, this is the PM and the FCA fighting each other.  The elected leaders say let's go crypto, the FCA attacks over totally unrelated regular local scam artists, plus nearly kills off Revolut, which was otherwise a huge fintech disruptor success story.  The basic Pushme Pullyou thingie, right?  then?  That fundamental analytical incongruity thingie???

Here's a recurring fiat printing funny - the Chinese owner of British Steel ( what?? ) needs a fresh 500 million of fiat printed  to keep Lincolnshire open.  That should do for like a year, lol. 

wait wait HOLD THE PRESSES!!!  HOLY CHIT today is a SPECIAL day, Davey!!!  It's MONDAY yet the FT / Morningstar managed to do a crypto print they were PROFESSIONALS who PRETENDED TO GIVE A RAT'S ARSE!!  Oh be still our heart, happy happy joy joy!! Here it is!! future generations will never know our struggle!!  lol. actually we are so burned out on this issue it's hard to taste the joy of victory.  We are a dead fish on the beach on this one, looking up into the sun with our glazing eyes, one fin twitching!!!   it's funny.  Last Monday dear readers will recall we Morningstar for their current lawsuit for allowing analysts to change algos without notice that affected investor's payouts.   THIS Monday we were ALL READY TO GO!!! with a moral / ethical attack on the FT for being so sleazy as to stick with an unscrupulous data provider, too ($##$(*!! lazy to print crypto on a Monday, a data provider whose retarded (literally, VERY late entry) efforts in crypto were beyond pitiful,  to laughable and criminal!!!  A data provider embroiled over fiscally important  lies with the , AH hah ha ha ha.  Feel the power, readers!! as we CHANGE THE FABRIC OF THE FT ONE CHITPOST AT A TIME !! thanks team gotta take the wins when ya get em, LMAO.  

Didja do it for Revolut, FT?  Was it for Improbables crypto foray?  ROFL!!!!  wow, welcome to this century dudes... SMH

Hey here's some crypto in print!! Yay!! TL; DR - rehash city, no new meat!!   D'Oh Kwon, Broken Arrows on the lam.  Hodlnaut, with a Sing license, is  looking DOA.  3AC and Terra never had a full license and gave up and split.  did the same. at the crypto research center of Korea USwitzerland was THE most pro crypto, with .  Now, says they will be much tougher - but will they really?  lol.  Hard to say.   They might say they will, but then not.  Maybe they should say they won't and then do??  lol. The FT ends reverting to the #(*&#$@(*&!!  %(&#%(*&@(*&!! ing anonymous source  saying it's all crypto's fault, of course, the regulators are just perfect.  We feel like lobbing a few FT's for the headline, but judges forbid. 

wow, MORE new crypto news in print!! Yippee!! : Torrid is an american adjective for a  happening hot love affair, why it's over the top with joy freedom and love!! what's Euro hell, the Brits are the lovers?? It's really funny, to them torrid means dry and difficult.  And they are chicken to go over the top!!! Hey, then don't even TRY with the Latin girlfriends then is all we can say.  

Hey, we are not fascist proofreaders much, ok we are, but there is a typo in the sixth paragraph, just sayin.  It says "to stands (sic) at just 5.6mm. " C'mon print proofreaders!!! not like y'all at ALL!! 

The FT template is 100% here, a VERY positive article framed like crypto is dead and buried.  Let's play shot card bingo,shall we?  Crypto is nothing, just lines of computer code.  CHECK, A1!! "Despite the crash" CHECK B2!! "Brutal sell off", CHECK!! market cap from 3 tn to 1 tn yawn, geez this is old CHECK "bloodbath" man is this written by an algo?  can you say copypasta, sure you can we knew you could sorry erm CHECK!!!  "throwing good money after bad"  check!!   Cherry pick a bunch of hurting crypto funds, CHECK, VAVA, ETHH, and solana SLNC are all down 60-80%.  

Jeez is that enough with the cliche's?  NO.  How could we have an FT article hiding good news without THESE chestnuts??  Larry Fink five years ago said crypto is laundering!!  ($#&$@($#*& let it go, wee radge Joe, y'all have said that fifteen times now since we started paying attention a few months ago, spare us just that one please we're beggin ya.  

Can't be an FT crypto article without a neggy dig at the end, wait for it, what is that eight shots already, woooo, will it be there?  Oh ($#$( yes it will.  Crypto might be regulated out of existence, you know!! BINGO !!! NINE SHOTS OF STOCK CRYPTO HATE COPYPASTA!!!! we hope you win the FT's anti-crypto weekly prize of flat roof pub meat.  

WAIT we are woozy - shots!! we also had the most negative graph the FT could find.  MAN we shoulda been happy with the nothingburger, who knew. 

The REAL story:  hidden behind all that flak n cr-p is another wildly positive crypto story.  Almost 400 billion has flowed into crypto ETPs so far this year. and more ETPs are being created just like in 2021.  NOT in the FT, here is the graph they shoulda printed about ETPs taking off, the ($&#(&!! ers.  Rehash good news moving into crypto for BlackRock, Abrdn, Schroders, & Fidelity.  It's a land grab!! Yay! oh wait, shot #eleven - a late breaking global price tumble.  Hic.  

Morningstar Ken says probably huge pent up demand.  Gee, probably thanks. So much demand your lazy company started printing crypto data on a Monday, lol??  Not in the FT, the whales are grabbing all they can in many coins. 

NEXT!!  Wow, crypto floodgate has opened!!Yippie, maybe? TLDR, rehash of crypto hate for Celsius.  Alex took 10MM out which he said was for taxes, maybe it was, still subject to USA claw back rules.  Alex & his fams are still in for 40MM.   Rehash 1.2 bn missing, 18% interest, Westcap and CDPQ, it was a virtual Ponzi, Vermont sues, rehash Terra / Luna rehash snore....

NEXT!! Kimmy Kardashian!! how can we have crypto without a Kardashian lowering the tone?  Answer:  we can't!! , ya gotta tell when yer running an ICO off Twitter. Else pay 1.25MM to neither deny nor confirm.  TBF, Kim did label it #AD. Etherium Max.  As Kim might say, whatever.  OK, she made us look - at THIS stinker,

NEXT!!  wait, we can't get away from Kim that fast. Lookit THIS teaser!!    Same story, this time by Lex. Different glamour shot tho, Kim would have wanted it that way. Lex gets to the meat of the matter, the Howey test from 1946. Is the chitcoin ethmax an investment in a common enterprise, expecting profit from the work of others?   The SEC says hell yes, just look at the marketing materials.   Some fine printwoulda saved Kimmy 1.25MM. 

Ripple Labs is fighting back, Congress might be pushing for the to take over as Sherriff in these parts, but right now it's all Gary moving fast and breaking things, which probably should be broken.  Dear readers know we love crypto, but when ya read Gary's points, a LOT of crypto does look like a security, and if a protocol is just lying in their whitepaper, they face the long arm of the law.   Ethermax looks purdy scammy. 

We don't understand the Kim quote the SEC can keep up, above, nor does Lex make it clear. Checking other sources doesn't help.  Kim said Nada!!!    Her spokesperson said glad to cooperate, put this behind us and move on with other biz, neither confirm nor deny, that million plus is like $100 bucks to Kim's team. 

NEXT!!!!! 

Finally, we have #*&#$(#&!! again, the FT chooses to say stablecoin TerraUSD without saying algo.  The walls are closing in on stablecoins - but will even notice??  Still boosted from the Tornado incident. The Feds want Congress to pass Fed laws to prevent regulatory arbitrage from happening across states or nations.  We like state's rights a lot.  Oddly, this story ends with a rehash of working with Blackrock.  Hey, WTF, was that an FT story about crypto ENDING with a vaguely positive spin?  When does THAT happen? We'll take that !!  IT"S WORKING FAMS LOOKIT US!!!  

Didn't get our illusion of freedom driving today, maybe tomorrow, so gotta sleep.  Thanks crypto fans, we love ya!! 

Peace out