Is there someone in your life who constantly annoys you and sticks around like dog poop on your shoe? Want to tell them to leave you alone either temporarily, indefinitely, or permanently and make that happen? Want to remove someone from your life and have it enforced by a smart contract rather than a restraining order?
Hyper Obnoxious Asshole Exchange Network (H.O.A.X. Net) has the perfect cryptocurrency solution for you: DodgeCoin!
DodgeCoin is a new cryptocurrency that pays people to leave you alone and avoid you at all times, or else!
Send them DodgeCoin to say "dodge me with your [explitive deleted]!" Send them a DodgeCoin to say "hit the road with your dog & pony show and don't come back, Jack!" Send them a DodgeCoin and make your wish their command!
Upon their acceptance of the receipt of the DodgeCoin a smart contract is enacted and enforced through the wallet app which prevents them from all forms of contact and communication with you; phone calls, text, email, and any social media platforms, you name it.
How does it work? Well, have you ever loaned money to someone on the promise of prompt repayment only to have them disappear off the face of the earth for months at a time yet you felt better not having them around? DodgeCoin operates on the same principle, but with guaranteed results or your money back.
The DodgeCoin is staked in the wallet and pays out interest weekly, but only provided that they adhere to the terms of noncontact as specified by you in the smart contract in the DodgeCoin staking app.
If they violate the rules of the contract and contact you by any of the specified methods, not only is the DodgeCoin returned to you but so are all of their gains from the staking contract. Yes, they are required to pay you in full. So the longer they adhere to the terms of the contract the more financial rewards they receive but also the more they stand to lose.
The DodgeCoin staking contract is legally binding. If they have cashed out their staking gains, which they can choose to do once every seven days, then they are financially liable for the current market value of those tokens. If they are unable to pay you in full within 30 days, you will be legally able to place a lien on their real property, business, and bank accounts to satisfy the debt.
If their assets are insufficient to cover the debt within 30 days of the placement of the lien, you may claim their property or garnish their wages. That's right, you will legally be able to get their money right out of their paycheck before they even get paid! You could end up owning their house, at which point you can either evict them from the property and sell it or you can become their landlord charging them rent until they leave on their own.
In essence, upon acceptance of receipt of the DodgeCoin, they have nothing to gain from violating the terms of the contract and everything to lose. This is powerful incentive for them to conform strictly to the terms as stated in the smart contract. No funny business!
This is superior to any restraining order, because the app requires location information to function and will not function with the use of a VPN. The app tracks their movements, and yours, to ensure that they don't cross your path. You are not able to see their location unless they are within a 1 mile radius. They are not able to see your location ever, but will get a notification when they come within 1,000 yards of your location. Should they approach within the 1,000 yard limit, the app will instruct them where they need to go to avoid contact with you but will never inform them of your exact location.
Best of all, the app functions to track their phone even when it is turned off! The app uses special NSA software tools to ping their phone, even when it is off! This is next level security for your peace of mind, Big Brother is on your side!
DodgeCoin is the best investment you can make to clear your life of undesirable elements. Invest in DodgeCoin and enjoy your best life free from otherwise unavoidable nuisances. DodgeCoin is the first cryptocurrency to actually deliver true peace on earth.
Join us on the H.O.A.X. Network and invest in DodgeCoin today! Shut up and give us your money!
[Yes, this is satire. For now. It's nice to have a dream. Maybe, if there is enough interest in this project, we can make it real. Would you buy DodgeCoin if it were really available?]
